bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
