So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize