In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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