The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize