Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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