Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
