Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
