Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
