YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
