Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
