Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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