My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
