Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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