I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
