What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
