He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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