we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
