So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
