Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Found the puke drawer
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
