I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This is my gift to your gina
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
