um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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