tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
