It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
