My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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