The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
