oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
