I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
