he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
