We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
