I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
