absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My feet surprised me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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