During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize