And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
