Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
