i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
