your thong is hanging out like whoa
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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