HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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