I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
