Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
are you so shy because you have an std?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
