I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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