so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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