I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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