fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
