Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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