I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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