I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
