I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
