Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize