I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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