Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
