He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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