You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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