you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
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