We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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