My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
