During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
