I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
50% drunk capacity currently
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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