piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There r osticjed everywhere
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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