he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
