goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
