Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
