she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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