In the future we'll all be gay
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
