like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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