Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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