Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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