Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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