He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
