Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
