dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
